Life

Too Fast Too Soon Too Bad

David Zertuche · September 11, 2024 · Leave a Comment

It has been an extremely hectic last few months since my birthday. By the way, that went fine! Weird, right? It’s almost like I need to chill out (but I will refuse to do so, don’t worry).

My Letterbox’d has been as dumb as ever and there’s been a lot of changes going on in my life. Trying to make things work, attempting to change behaviors, staying committed to things I find essential in living my life. It’s all culminated in a very busy few months that has stressed me out a lot more than I realized, so much so that I ended up losing some weight out of pure anxiety. Pretty cool stuff.

What’s the biggest thing? Well, my band finally got their first show scheduled! It’s at the 502 bar on Sep 20th and we’ll be playing with Allwax and GoKart Mozart (fantastic name). I have been working nonstop to make sure I don’t mess it up and this has caused the aforementioned stress that is eating away at me. It’s a good stress obviously, but stress nonetheless. Because of this, if you come to this show, I cannot promise you that I will be acting normal at all. In fact I can already assume that I’ll be a bundle of nerves and will probably hide away in the back.

Anyways, I’ll keep this one short since I’m still trying to figure myself out. I’ll report back once my head is screwed on straight, for now just know I’m still alive!

My Birthday | Progress Takes Time

David Zertuche · June 17, 2024 · 2 Comments

I yam so tired

Hi! Hello! Help me!

Kidding, I think. I don’t know, it’s been a bit weird for the past few weeks! What’s new?

Well, for the past month I’ve been dealing with a Toothache X Sinus Infection collab that not only left me partially deaf in my right ear but also completely killed all progress I was making in terms of working out, eating healthy and having a stable sleep schedule! IT’S SO COOL! I would sleep for 2 hours only to wake up in complete pain and bedrot out of sheer anger! IT’S THE BEST! Even better, this completely killed all progress I was making in drumming so I’m completely rusty on most of my hobbies now which certainly helps my mental state.

In reality, I’m already getting over this. I’m restarting everything this week and will be attempting to get into way better habits for the coming month. My birthday is coming up and I’ll be turning 29 soon, the weight of becoming closer to 30 slowly creeping into the recesses of my mind. What better time to remold yourself into a fine adult than when you can feel the crushing intensity of your own mortality flatten you into a fine paste!

I’ve been running this entire album on repeat this month while in my little slump, with this song being the driving force behind my forced rehabilitation.

I always get a little depressed around my birthday and I still can’t fully explain why. I know I just got done winging and complaining about it but it’s mostly just a joke, I don’t mind my birthday. I have an extreme luxury of having a solid amount of friends and acquaintances and I don’t pretend to not understand just how valuable that can be once you’re close to entering your thirties, but for some reason this specific day seems to follow me around every year like a shitty jumpscare.

There’s a number of things that it could be, such as having to plan multiple excursions with multiple friend groups, worrying that my birthday doesn’t really matter anymore (how vain, what a rube), or even just the fact that it always rains on my birthday (which honestly should be more impressive than it is sad). I’m starting to think it just comes down to the fact that I don’t like celebrating ME, which in itself is very very depressing. Half of the reason I started this blog was so that I could help myself celebrate wins, regardless of how small or insignificant they are, and yet here I am giving updates a month apart.

Here’s a thing I did that I’ve only told like 2 people: I paid off my car! That’s a win, right? It should be, it’s a very important milestone and represents “taking care of business” as it were. But here I am, playing it close to my chest because the biggest enemy to my own success is behind this stupid monitor.

All of that being said though, the best thing to stomp that out is to actually just go… do the thing. I’m back to working out, eating well and trying to rebuild stamina. I’ve restructured my finances to be more responsible. I’m actually reaching out to and hanging out with my friends instead of just suffering in silence like a little baby. Idk man I’m trying to do it. But progress takes time, and I’m incredibly impatient from what I’ve learned.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. As much as I am doing this for myself, it means something that you bothered to even glance at this post. I hope you have a great week, and I’ll try to do the same.

Little Update

David Zertuche · March 14, 2024 · Leave a Comment

Oh hey! It’s been a second, huh?

I’ve been going through some uhhhhh changes lately, and it’s having me focus a bit more on myself. I’ve been trying to get healthier and just more active, giving further thought into how I operate, what I love and who I am as a person outside of public perception. I also got a radical haircut, in case that clues you into what’s going on with me.

The band that I’m in is progressing fairly well and I’m really excited for the future, still brushing up on our current setlist and hopefully able to do some shows in the next 2-3 months. I’m getting better and better at the drums (which I never though was possible because I’m a big ol idiot). I promise as soon as that pans out I’ll let everyone know!

I’m also wanting to get back to video editing, namely in my own content! I really liked streaming but the schedule would upset me too much, I think. The joy of making my own footage and editing it exactly how I want it so that I can control the end product 100% is something I’m not willing to give up, so for now streaming might take a backseat. I’ll also be updating this site with those videos served through youtube once it’s set!

I’ve basically got a little too much going on and a lot more to share, which means I’ll need to continue using this site as a public diary and pushing myself to be better. If you’re still reading this, thank you for being there. If you’re here to make fun of me and get material, I completely understand and I think i’m stupid, too.

Committing to something bigger, AKA I joined a band

David Zertuche · January 14, 2024 · Leave a Comment

Growing up in a family of musicians, there’s a bit of a shadow that is cast over your life. Not a bad shadow, mind you, just an ever-present expectation that you probably have that talent too and not honing it might be a disservice to… well honestly I have no idea. I don’t think the world is waiting for me to do anything here. The thing is, most of my family plays Guitar (and pretty well too), to the point where I started wondering if this was going to be what I needed to do: play guitar, be like them and just be happy. Weirdly enough, this is not what happened at all, and I think that expectation of learning the Guitar broke me in a funny way because to this day it’s my least favorite instrument and I have very little desire in learning it.

In the 6th grade I ended up learning Cello which I think suits me pretty well. Bass clef is pretty great, I was usually at least 2nd or 3rd chair (probably deserved a worse seat) and I would continue to do that until graduation of high school. This instrument and its classes taught me a lot of things, such as how to be competitive in something that probably shouldn’t be (UIL), how to play gigs and put together set lists that won’t bore people, and more importantly how to work with multiple parts of a moving puzzle and make sure you’re blending in correctly. With the latter, it enabled me to play in a production of Annie Get Your Gun with a full symphony, something that I look back on with a great amount of pride.

Years have gone by and my musical life has evolved in weird ways, from learning and teaching the Ukulele, doing some Barbershop Quartet here and there and even attempting to learn the Harmonica, which by all accounts is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to teach myself and I’ve never been more humbled in my entire life. But throughout all of this time, there was an instrument that I never really expected to lift me where I think I truly want to be, and I never thought more about it because it was just a role in a party video game that no one wanted to do because it was either loud, hard or the kick pedal didn’t make sense.

After playing Rock Band for so many years, buying an e-kit and just learning as I go, I’ve become mad okay at the instrument. I’m still trying to get down paradiddles and learning how to conserve energy but I’ve been wanting more and more for quite a while. Throughout my entire life I’ve been looking back at my orchestra days and missing being in a group, a part of something bigger. A friend recently let me sit in a session with their band that they’re looking to bring back after the pandemic put a wrench in things, and while I’m no professional, I was able to actually hold my own and use everything that i’ve learned to at least trick them into thinking I’m okay.

All of this is to say I’ve recently joined a band as a drummer, and while nothing is set in stone yet and I can’t share the name or any tracks, I’m looking forward to investing myself in this project. I’ve always wanted a way to express myself but I’m really not good at the “words” part, which is partially why I started this blog. But if I can’t sing or write it, I sure as hell can play it, and I’ll do my best doing it too.

New Site + New Start

David Zertuche · January 12, 2024 · Leave a Comment

I did it! I started a new site and it didn’t kill me. I’m hoping that I can continue using this for everything that goes on in my life, as I’ve been pretty disorganized for now. There is a specific reason I started to re-develop this site, and that’s due to the ongoing production within my brain. I present to you:

Scatterbrained: The Musical

I’ve been noticing that I’m having a hard time remembering and mostly digesting the things that I do on a daily basis, especially recently. At first I thought of it more of a flow state (which I’m sure it technically is) and regarded it as a neat trick that I’ve learned just by existence, however it’s starting to worry me a little. The other night I was talking to my girlfriend and wandering around without realizing that I had actually taken out the trash in the middle of our conversation. It’s not like I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation or anything, but it’s starting to worry me that I’m doing major tasks like that and not even realizing it. This thankfully doesn’t bleed into work or anything and I’m a fully-functioning adult, though I understand that through writing (or typing in this sense) I can generally absorb and retain the things that I do a lot better.

I also have a lot of opinions about things but my interests are a bit vast and I’m really tired of trying to have multiple social accounts trying to separate everything I do into bins, so naturally I thought having a blog would make a lot more sense. I know that no one is really going to read this and I’m absolutely okay with that, if anything journaling the things I enjoy, encounter and experience to better help me retain that information is what I feel should be my next step. Plus I do WordPress for a living, I should know how to create a damn site and maintain it.

This is hopefully the first post of many of things that I’m doing, and god willing I’m going to continue posting here to see if I can maybe sort out my thoughts, feelings and wiggles. If you’ve read this far, thank you. You didn’t have to, but you did and I legitimately appreciate it.